Friday, 11 November 2016
Something has been bothering me for the past few days and I feel the need to get the matter off my chest and out in the open.
I visited a club recently, and whilst sitting in the lounge area, chatting with a group of friends, a new couple came over and introduced themselves to us. Nothing wrong there. We are always open to meeting new people. Conversation revealed they were fuck buddies, lovers, whatever - both married just not to each other. No-one batted an eyelid. He - we will call him Red - sat adjacent to me but on another couch. Despite other people being around, he focussed on me, asking about the popularity of the club and the ratio of guys to couples etc. He complimented my outfit and asked questions about my sexual preferences, stressing his female companion was bi-curious.
'Are you bi-sexual?' he asked
'I don't play that way' I said
'Sorry, I've forgotten your name already'
'Kate' I remind him.
My husband sits forward and introduced himself again
'Oh I don't need to know your name, I'm only interested in Kate' he said and turned his attention back to me.
His words took me by surprise. Disregarding my husband like that had automatically ruled out any chance of him playing with me.
I continued to chat within the group, but focussed my attention on a guy called Tony, who had been speaking with my husband.
'So Kate, I've just been hearing about your work. Tell me more.'
Perfect. Here was a lovely, young guy that understood the rules of engagement; polite, respectful and attentive. He took time to get to know both me and my husband, and after a short conversation, admitted he would like to play. 'But there's no pressure' he quickly added. 'It's been a delight to meet you both.' However, once I confirmed my interest he thanked us and asked a few questions about what I enjoyed and how I wanted to play. He was very unassuming throughout and ensured my pleasure, comfort and safety was his number one priority whilst we were together.
Some time later, we returned to the lounge for a break and Tony gave us the space we needed. I was back on the leather couch, propped in the corner to support my still ailing back and in conversation with friends who sat opposite.
All of a sudden, I'm approached from behind by Red, who leaned down and kissed me, open mouthed. His advance caught me off guard, I was shocked, stunned and temporarily immobilised. All I could think to do was close my eyes and keep my lips sealed, but somehow, (maybe I tried to draw breath I don't know), his probing tongue found mine. All I could taste was red wine. As he broke away he left me with the words 'I want to fuck you'. I cringed even more than before. How fucking arrogant and assuming could one person be? He had no right to invade my space like that. No man has the right to invade anyone's space without being asked or invited.
Other than wiping my mouth, what happened thereafter is a haze. I can't remember where my huband was or what anyone else said to me in the few minutres that followed.
Not wanting to make a scene, I sat quiet, gathered my thoughts and for the next hour or so, together with my husband, enjoyed the facilities the club had to offer. Unfortunately our paths crossed with Red and his partner again. Once again, he made a move towards me. This time my reactions were quicker.
'Can I have some space please' I boldly said, loud enough for other players to hear, and just in case he hadn't heard my words above the music, I held the flat of my hand out directly in front of him to ensure he got the message and stepped no closer.
He walked away, tail between his legs. His girlfriend, for whatever reason, decided to kiss my husband. What the ... ? For goodness sake, why do people have to play such games? Clearly, the pair were on some kind of mission and sadly, fuelled by alcohol for Dutch courage, had thought it acceptable to behave the way they did.
One of the dislikes I have about the scene is that people often mistake the willingness to engage in conversation as we want you to jump into bed with us or please fuck my wife. It isn't. It never has been and never will be. Nothing should be assumed.
Respect peoples boundaries, respect their space. No means no. At all times.
Until next time,