I have got over my maudlin moment, triggered by some regret that I didn't have time to talk to my date last night. She had rung and wanted to talk over some concerns following her Saturday at a party. We had spent the night on Friday in Town, hanging out with the Erotica after show crowd in an hotel bar. We'd pulled. Well, my date had pulled. A black guy, Jay, who recognised her from a party we'd been to several weeks earlier. He came back to our room for an entertaining threesome. This was who and what my date wanted. I had met my date some months before at a gangbang organised for another friend. It was my date's first experience with multiple guys and she loved it. Not in the scene and not even online, I had offered to introduce her to the people and places I knew and since we have become firm friends.
Back in our room, I found I could not relate to Jay. Although beautiful, which I'll describe in due course, he had some habits over which I am particular. For example, when I come in a condom, I like to tie it in a knot before disposal. Jay, having come, copiously I might add in his, decided upon removal to discard it on the bed. I was horrified. I envisaged his ejaculate leaking on to the duvet. A duvet under which, my date and I would later be sleeping, ffs! Getting back to his beauty, I found myself at one point fucking my date. She had his penis in her lips.She was licking it, much as you would a cigarette paper when rolling one of your own. My face next to her's, was inches from his tool and it was beautiful. Ebony black, smooth skinned and uniform straight. A designer prick. I would have joined my date licking the other side, but didn't feel a connection that would permit me to ask. I pictured his distaste and could foresee our scene crashing to an untimely end. A pity really, as my date would have been even more turned on and it would have been an extremely hot moment.
MMF threesomes are not exactly what I am seeking these days. I'm glad that my date is fulfilling her fantasies and I am happy to facilitate that, but somehow it just isn't enough. We always have fun and the time we spend in bed once the crowds have gone is special, but I am missing the chase of the evening. I am missing the challenge to achieve something fresh. Attracting a single guy to a threesome is just too easy. This alone had not been enough to cause the mood that descended upon me Tuesday. There are invariably other components. The second being something I did, or did not do. I don't know which, or even what it was. Last week I had contacted a new lady and arranged to meet for a drink. At the weekend I had missed her call to me and had been unable to make contact back. Calls were unanswered and messages unreturned. I imagined her ire at a missed promise from me and my prospect of getting to know someone new being snatched from me.
I started the year on my own. One by one people chose to invite me into their inner circles, just what I needed and wanted for myself. I find myself now only going to events, where I am known, with a partner, or group of friends. What I have mislaid is my sense of adventure and my enthusiasm for a night at risk. The risk that I must stand on my own two feet, trust myself to the gods and risk rejection by my fellow night travellers. The edge has gone. I am playing too safe and whilst I already know it, this is the third strand that has pulled a shroud around me. What should I do? Reject my friends? Of course not, they are special and I cherish each and every one, but I will not be the person they first invited into their lives unless I return to my roots and rediscover the man that once had the world at his feet.